


First Time

by Sun_Sparks



Category: South Park
Genre: First Time, M/M, Tags would just spoil it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 16:52:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15823038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sun_Sparks/pseuds/Sun_Sparks
Summary: Craig doesn’t think it’s all that big. Perhaps average? He’s had bigger for sure. He wracks his brain trying to remember what his first time was like.





	First Time

“Craig, I don't know if I can do this.”

They’ve been building up to this all week. It was Craig's idea, really. Tweek wouldn't have anything to do with it if he could help it, but with enough persisting and nagging, he eventually relented to his boyfriends wishes and brought him to where he is today. The room is quiet – too quiet – and it's putting him at a deep feeling of unease. He can hear his thoughts bounce across the barely decorated walls, seeping in and making the room shrink slowly, getting smaller inch by inch until he feels claustrophobic. All in all, it's not an experience Tweek is enjoying. The tension in the air amplified by his own anxiety; if Craig ever wants him to do this again (and it's likely that he will), he's not being set up for a comforting first time.

“Just relax, babe. It’s easier if you relax,” he says.

Tweek knows Craig means well, but it’s not helpful in the slightest. In fact, it’s irritated him greatly, but right now he can’t focus on being mad. Not when he’s anxious and apprehensive. Tweek wonders how Craig has ever done this before. He’s sure everyone is nervous with their first time – or any time – when they haven’t done it in a while. He secretly thinks Craig is probably over-excited for this to happen by the way he’s been going on about it. In retrospect, he probably should have made a point to ask someone like Kyle instead of his boyfriend about how to get over his nerves. His legs can't help but jiggle. It's an involuntary thing that he's trying to shake himself out of, and as it's moving everything around him, his stomach churns even worse than it had been. The room spins like his gut, but deep down, he trusts Craig to see him through it with ease.

Craig looks on with a warm smile. He usually finds his boyfriend a great source of comfort, like a warm blanket on a cold day. Right now he needs sympathy, but Craig's seeming inability to understand the situation is leaving him more restless than before.

“I’m not going to get, urk- HIV- am I?” he twitches involuntarily.

Craig wonders what Tweek is trying to imply by this, or who put it into his head. Craig's patience for his partner’s parents is ever waning, and he’s tired of all the push-back. After reassuring him that no, he won’t get HIV, or Hep C, or some other virus, Craig feels like he’s doing a stellar job of being a boyfriend and maybe – just maybe – they’ll be allowed to proceed.

“Oh god-oh jesus!” Tweek cries as he spots it. “It's too big, I-...”

Craig doesn’t think it’s all that big. Perhaps average? He’s had bigger for sure. He wracks his brain trying to remember what his first time was like. Was he this nervous? He thinks back to times past. It always hurts for the first thirty seconds or so, but after that it's okay. Internally, he wants to call Tweek a baby, but he knows from past experience it never goes down well and it's not helpful at all. He bites his tongue and places a hand on his arm. He can see his partner shaking, trying his best to hold back tics.

“Don't look at it,” Craig says, as he massages Tweek. His nails are extra bitten down today. Craig surmises it's been on his mind this week but managed to do a good job of keeping it under wraps. That, or Tweek truly was fine, until realising he’d actually have to go through with it like he said he would. Craig runs his fingers over Tweek’s before knitting them together and gently caressing him with his thumb. “You'll be fine, Honey.”

Tweek feels sick. When is too late to back out? Craig has been assuring him it's fine; he's done it a bunch of times and he's always been okay, during and after. Tweek hopes it's just nerves and apprehension, but he's done his research. Some people experience pain, swelling, and fevers and he's not sure he can cope with what might be. Since discovering emotional intelligence, Craig has been great with letting him just feel, but Craig has been particularly insistent on this one. He says the benefits outweigh the risks. It’s something he feels very strongly about, and because those are few and far between for his boyfriend, Tweek thought it might be better to listen to what Craig had been saying.

The insertion takes him by surprise. He was so in his head, he hadn’t expected it and let out an involuntary yelp.

“Was that 'ouch' real, or just because?”

Tweek thinks for a moment. Honestly, it didn’t hurt all that much, but the thought still makes him queasy. He offers Craig a small smile before dramatically telling him yes, because damnit he needs attention and sympathy. He squeezes his boyfriends hand a little tighter and closes his eyes. He feels them watering from the initial sting, but he knows he can power through it.  
He feels like he can hear his heart beat rapidly, and Craig's rhythmic breathing in an otherwise silent room. The echoes of his thoughts are quieter now, at a whisper instead of a loud shriek as they were before. He chooses to focus on his boyfriend’s gentle touch on his hand and his soft breaths. He wonders if Craig is focusing on the same things too.

“That’s it, babe. You’re doing so well,” Craig says, encouragingly.

  
He wants so badly to bring his hand up to his hair. He suppose it’s a good thing Craig is holding onto him, because it wouldn’t be good if he was fidgeting as he usually does. His eyes squeeze tighter shut as he goes to his happy place. He dreams of sunshine and picnics, of running barefoot in the grass and picking the prettiest flowers he can find.

“Nearly done, Babe.”

“Already?”

Craig’s words of encouragement have been a big help during this ordeal. He cracks an eye open to look down. He knows he shouldn’t, but does anyway. He's surprised it's over so soon, but Craig did say it would be. All in all, it probably wasn’t as bad as he first thought. Not that he’d be doing it again in a hurry of course. This is a fear that’s in the process of being conquered and he’s certain he’s taking steps into being a true man by facing it head on.

“..And we’re finished! See, Mr. Tweak? Not so bad, hey?”

Tweek turns his head to find a smiling nurse. She’s disposed of the needle in the time his eyes were closed and is currently holding a small piece of cotton wool to his arm. Despite being only ten, he felt very adult having had his shot and being called a Mister. At this moment, he is ten twelve feet tall and ready to take on the world.

He's not sure how Kyle and Scott do this regularly for their diabetes. Needles have always been a big fear of his. They're sharp and freaky looking; not to mention filthy and disease ridden. He thinks about all of the playdates at Kenny’s house, how he saw them shiny and intimidating on the train tracks and internally decided he'd never touch them ever in his life.

As a boy of science, Craig was horrified to hear Tweek hadn’t had his MMR vaccine. It took a lot of conversation to finally persuade his boyfriend that death was far worse than any side effect a shot could give him. Ever the fear-mongers, Tweek's parents managed to convince him of all kinds of anti-vaccination propaganda. In fact, during a particularly painful conversation with Tweek’s parents after Kenny contacted measles, Craig found himself struggling not to deliver a one-fingered salute for their stupidity, not to mention the adverse effect it had on his sweetheart. They believed the autism rumours too, which Craig knows it's bullshit. The implication that Tweek was already too much hard work without “giving him something else to spazz out about” had him excuse himself from their house to angrily kick a can all the way home out of frustration.

He decided to get his mother involved after it was clear they wouldn’t budge on a fourth-grader's say-so. He wasn’t sure what was said to Tweek’s parents, but he was sure he heard a threat of getting Sheila Broflovski involved. The very thought of it made him shudder and he was glad it never came to that. Still, as he holds Tweek's hand in the present, he feels a wave of relief. Kyle’s mom is scary, but the thought of Tweek contracting something terrible is worse. He's be lying if he said it hadn't kept him up at night. As he'd laid awake counting speckles on the ceiling, nausea snaked its way into his gut and put a frog in his throat.

As they leave the nurse's room, she gives them both a lollipop for being so brave. The candy is sweet, but a healthy Tweek is sweeter and the pair are more than happy to go back to worrying about nothing for the time being.

**Author's Note:**

> Vaccinate your kids.


End file.
